It has been so long I have forgotten that this silly blog still exists.
Typing out this post has probably been the longest it has taken me compared to all the other posts. I have no idea what to type since my brain is in a mess. Guess I will just vomit out what comes to my mind first.
2016 overall was great except I had way too many drunken nights mostly because I always let my emotions get the better of me and I let myself ballooned (I WAS SO FAT). Mid 2017 to around September 2018 was just a nightmare. During that period I completely lost myself. I couldn't deal with the accusations, heartbreak and especially with people telling me how I should live my life. It was so bad that I just let the influences of others change the way how I wanted my life to be. The ironic thing is that 3ish years ago I posted that regardless of how big or small the matter is, a person should be able to have control and decide what he/she wants to do with their lives. I was a complete wreck. Not sure if anyone could tell but I was so miserable. Either way I got blamed for a whole bunch of stuff.
Being told by the person that I love that I never done anything for him to love me more just made things worse (this happened in 2017 November). I never recovered from the trauma. The words still haunts me today. Being told I was never good enough/why I can't be better since I was young until now has taken it's toll.
With 2018 coming to an end really soon, I figured it is time to 'fix' myself. Have the old bubbly and spontaneous Michelle back. I wanted to say crazy but we all know she is has this good fun crazy. The whole 'New Year New You' is just rubbish because if you are not going to change, NOTHING WILL CHANGE.
Always stay true and believe in yourself. Stay happy stay healthy.
XOXO,
Michelle
PS: Will try to blog/post more often (I have been saying this for years but it almost never happens)